猫の気持ち 其の九


「みんなー、お待たせしたでヤンスよー」
 レストランの方からアラン君が小走りで帰ってきた。どうやら晩餐の準備が出来たようであるな。
「あら、アランちゃんお帰りなさいまし。今日はどんなご馳走を食べて来たのかしら」
「え、やだなぁ、ただの残り物でヤンスよ。ヘヘッ」
 舌をペロペロとブーメランのように振り回して誤魔化そうとはしているが、腹が減っている団員の前ではまったくの無益であると言っておこう。デミグラスソースの臭いが辺り一面にプンプンと漂ってくる。
「ところで、そんな隅っこにかたまって何をやってるんでヤンスか?」
「いやぁ、なに。ちょっとした緊急ミーティングってやつだよ。ハッハッハ」
 なぜかは分からぬが、ポルポト君が惚けてみせる。
「き、緊急ミーティング!」
 これまたアラン君もひっくり返りそうな勢いでたいそう驚いたような表情だ。
「EUの調停者を除け者にしてミーティングなんて非道いでヤンスなぁ」
「「「EUの調停者!?」」」
「どこの異世界の話だいソレは。不法移民は守るけどフランス人は守らないおサルさんのことかな?」
自称カイロ大学首席卒業の方かもしれませんわ。ウッフン♪」
「またまたぁ。みんなイジワルでヤンスなぁ。チラッ チラッ」
「さぁて、嵐も過ぎ去ったことだし、妄想座談会でも始めることにしようか(笑)」
「…………」
 ポルポト君の掛け声を合図に全員のっしのっしと広場の中央へと戻ってゆく。丁度レストランの勝手口からも、例の猫好きコックさんが銀色のお盆を携えてこちらへと向かって来る。
 今度こそは晩餐会の始まりだ。
「今日はスペシャルメニューと言うことでしたわね、どんなお料理が出てくるのか楽しみですわ。ホ~ホッホッホ」
「たっぷりと堪能させてもらうでござるよ」
「あ、あのう。それがでヤンスね、今日はちいっとばかし下衆なモノを召し上がって頂かないといけなくなったでヤンス」
「「「下衆な物!?」」」
「おいおい、アランく~ん。君には失望してしまったよ、これだけみんなを待たせておいてガッカリだねぇ。しっかりしてくれたまえ」
「へ、へぇ。面目の次第もございやせん……」
 はて、アラン君の言い分によると、今日のメニューはちょっと残念な結果になりそうな感じであるが、そうなると例のコックさんが言っていたスペシャルメニューとやらは嘘であったのだろうか。何やらよく分からなくなってきたにゃあ。吾輩も今日はお腹が空いているので、あれやこれやと深く詮索するのはやめにして、とりあえずどんな料理が出てくるのかを黙って見届けることにした。
「よう、猫ちゃん達よ。今日は待たせちまって悪かったなぁ」
 広場の中央へ陣取り、団員達が物欲しそうに見上げるなかで演説が始まる。
「今日はいつもと違う料理を作ってみたぜ、お猫様専用の特別メニューだ。ついでに今年出来たてのボジョレーも付けといてやったからな、今宵も改心の出来ばえだ、公明学会も間もなく崩壊しちまうだろうなw」
 はて、前回も似たような台詞を聞いたような気がしないでもないが気のせいかしらん。
 演説が終わると同時に、丸い銀色のお盆がゆっくりと団員達の輪の中へと降りてくる。
 皆の期待を一身に受けたその中身は。

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