猫の気持ち 其の九

「…………」


「許されたでござる♪」
「本当かね君。ハッハッハッハ」
「なんともチャラい神様やなぁw」
「それで、LGBTに生産性が無いってどう言う意味でヤンスかね」
「銭勘定しか頭に無い卑しいおサルさんやからな。奴隷を再生産しない連中には価値が無いんやろなぁ、アイツらは」
「人とモノの区別も付かないんでござろうな」
「人権侵害も甚だしいですわね。ホホホ」
「貧しい価値観でヤンスな」
「まったくだ。君たちもLGBTが作ったハンバーガーを食べてちゃんと幸せを感じているじゃないかね、それだけでも十分に価値があると思えるがね。ハッハッハ」
「え、LGBT??」
「知らなかったでヤンスか?」
「猫をこよなく愛するゲイコックですわよ、ピエールちゃんは」
 ふむ、なるほどねぇ。海兵のような厳つい体躯に似合わぬ繊細な味付けと盛り合わせの妙技、今日はまた一つ新たな謎を解き明かすことができたでござるな。
オウムバヴァなんぞよりよっぽどお猫様の役に立っているってもんじゃないかね。ガーハッハッハ」
 ポルポト君がこちらに向かって唾を飛ばしながら声高らかに大口で笑い出す。コノやろう、きちゃないにゃあ。まったくもって。
「さぁて、異世界の辛気臭い話はこれくらいにしておいて、もっと楽しく飲んで歌って踊ろうじゃないかね。どれ満毒斉君、音頭を取ってくれたまえ」
「ヘイヘイ。それじゃあ全員起立でござるよ」
 当たり前のように吾輩を指名してくるポルポト君であるが、まあ気にしないことにして。ネコネコ団のさらなる躍進を願って一つ舞を披露することにいたそうか。
「それじゃ行くでござるよ~。ババンバヴァンバンバン♪」
 腰と前肢をリズミカルに振りながら音頭を取ってみせる。見よう見真似で他の団員達も同じように踊りだす。それほど難しい振り付けではないので、すぐに要領を覚えて合わせられるようになった。

「「「ババンバヴァンバンバン~」」」
「ちゃんと歯ぁ磨いたか?」
「「「バヴァはBAN BAN BAN~」」」
「お題目も唱えたか?」

「「「ババンバヴァンバンバン~」」」
「幸運の壺も買ったか?」
「「「バヴァはBAN BAN BAN~」」」
「ちゃんと覚醒しろよ!」

 銀色のお盆を取り囲み、ぐるりと円を描くように全員で踊りだす。
 今宵はまた一段と美しいお月様が天高く見守っている。
 無口な夜の女王だけが我々の舞を静かに見守っているようだ。

「時間だーよ!」
「「「仕方がーない」」」
「次の回までー」
「「「ごーきーげーんーよ♪」」」     ハァビバノンノ

 ババンバヴァンバンバン~……

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